Home Depot

There's a Home Depot right by Troy's new house, so while we've been working on the house we've gone there several times a day. Today we were there looking for fasteners for a door and we were tired and miserable and we just wanted to go home and sleep instead of finishing the project. We still got all of our stuff and then when we left we were goofing around on the way back home and then we realized it: we weren't tired and miserable from the project, but from being at Home Depot. I think they have some kind of security device that sucks the life out of people. I'm not sure what the diabolical purpose behind that is, yet, but I think I've had my life span shortened by several years because of all the visits to Home Depot this week.

Shopping

The worst part about going shopping is making decisions about what to buy. This is what makes a simple trip to buy pants take 45 minutes and result in a suicide attempt. Maybe it can't be avoided when no pair of pants fits right and you're just trying to minimize your loss, but I discovered that it's also hard to make decisions when every product is awesome.

Today Troy and I spent an hour at Home Depot staring at crowbars. It was hard to decide which one was right for dismantling a kitchen. Do you go with a thin bar or a Fat Max? Which is more important for a crowbar, the Wonder or the Super? And is the Super Wonder too much? And is the mini Wonder any more useful than a hammer claw? And if you get a hammer, do you need to be worried about hitting something with a knurled hammer head? Or if you hit something with a hammer that big is it going to break anyway? Do you want a wood or fiberglass handle? Can you say the word "hickory" without saying "dickory" immediately after? Does the Earwig hammer work better? If your hammer claw is really pointy does it become a tomahawk? And is a hatchet with a hammer on the back more or less of a tomahawk than a hammer with a hatchet on the back? If a mallet has a white head does it leave less marks than a mallet with a black head? If you had a mallet with both heads how would you decide which one to use? Does the bounce-resistant head really work? Does a comparison change if you swing it with your left hand instead of your right? And why are we looking at mallets, anyway?

See? Shopping is exhausting.

In honor of Mother's Day

Side-effects

Yesterday I had a Risk hang-over. I don't really know what that means, but I woke up in a daze with my clothes still on from the night before (the daze being the unusual part of that). Russ fed me some cereal, and in my stupor I bit my tongue eating it. I guess I bit it pretty hard. I think there was bleeding involved, but I can't be too sure (because of the stupor). Bleeding or not, I do have evidence of the fact that I bit it hard because it keeps hurting two days later. A few minutes ago I was talking to my boss and I realized that I had somehow developed a speech impediment. I don't know what my point is, except maybe that Risk is bad for you.