Last night I had my first experience being hit on by another guy.
We went to this dance club and I was kinda just leaning up against this counter (just taking a break, of course, since I'm such a dancing fool), and this guy comes up next to me and kind of gives me the look up and down and then says "Hey," to which I naturally respond, "Hey."
So then he stands right in front of me with one arm on the counter behind me (kind of in the Rocky position) and he puts his face like 4 inches from mine and puckers up.
Now I've never done very well under this type of pressure, even with a girl (I'm like a deer caught in the headlights), so I don't know what to do, and I just lean away from him and look at him.
The guy realizes my reluctance and leans back and says "Oh, did you think I was going to kiss you? I wasn't."
Relieved, I say, "Oh, good."
"Why good? Am I ugly?" the guy says, with mock shock.
"Ummm..." is all that I can say. The guy just takes it in stride, though, and laughs that if he were really going to try and kiss me he would take me to the bar and buy me a drink first. "That would be a lot more classy," I say, and we just laugh and give each other rocks like guys do, and he goes off to flirt with Turbo Dave (who's a severe homophobe, and had to leave immediately afterwards).
On an only-slightly straighter note, I saw the prettiest girl ever last night at the same club. Troy said he's seen her there before and that she's a lesbian, so nothing could have happened, even if I weren't too scared to talk to her.

Girl Stories

Am I allowed to write about girls on this thing? I get dumped on by enough girls (and vice versa) that I think it would make my blog a lot more interesting if I were allowed to write about all of my drama. The problem with that idea, of course, is that a lot of my friends read this and there's no telling when the girl(s) that I want to gossip about are going to log on and be pissed that I write about them. After all, it was under just such a situation that this page got opened to the public in the first place.

Mullet Poser

I don't really have a mullet, because my hair is long all over, instead of just in the back. Since the color has faded, though, to where it's blond again in the back, but brown(ish) in the front, I think it embodies the philosophy of a mullet: "Business up front, party in back."

PSF

$7.00. Full Service. (360) 491-6850.

Anti-Mormon

I used to have this idea of the typical RM guy (his name might be "Peter"), and I hated him: He thought he was so righteous, and that if you didn't dress the same way that he did, he would think that you were a sinner or a bad influence, and he wouldn't be your friend. All he ever talked about was his mission, and it often seemd as if he just wanted everyone to know how spiritual he was, so he had to remind them all of the time. It's hard to be the punk kid around people like that, but I eventually realized that I was judging him just as much as he was me. It's funny, but it's possible that I was inventing that RM guy, because now I can't find him.
I think most of the time people choose whether to be happy in a situation or not to be. It's rare that a situation inherently makes you unhappy. Take Provo for instance. It's easy to have a negative impression of Provo: that everyone is all stiff and nerdy, and that there's nothing fun to do here and no cool people to hang out with. I don't actually think that anymore. Provo's pretty cool. I can do pretty much anything here that I can in the outside world if I want, and it being a college town adds up to a lot of cool people (both Jack and Peter) to hang out with that are in a similar stage of life as me (for the most part, anyway: I guess I am the oldest single guy in Provo).
I think the problem is that at some point people have decided that the Mormon culture is nerdy, and so they've decided not to be happy in it. No one can be happy if they've convinced themselves not to be.
Here's what nerdy is: when you're so into something that you can't deal with people that aren't into it as much as you are. I think that can apply to anything (computers, sports, music): I'm only a nerd if I belittle or otherwise can't get along with other people that aren't nerdy about the same thing as me. It is nerdy for people to not associate (well) with others that don't share their religious (or other) views, but it's not nerdy to live your religion. You can be happy with it, but it can't make you happy or unhappy. That's a decision you make about it.

Halo 3

Last night I beat Halo 2 (just on the normal skill level, mind you). The story is left unfinished at the end--a cliff-hanger, if you will. There's these rumors that Halo 3 is coming out next year, and I'm not sure if it's reasonable to think that it could come out so soon, but I'd say that there definitely will be a Halo 3. Sunday, Sunday, Someday.

Jordan

Jordan and Ariana got engaged (officially) last night. That seems to be going around. I'd tell the story of how he proposed, but it's kind of over my head: Jordan's thought processes are so romantic that I can't even comprehend it.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, Jordan quit Carnaby.

A Three

I called the girl that I was supposed to go out with tonight, and she told me that she couldn't because she was too busy studying, and that I should call her next semester. She might as well have told me that her hair is so long now that it takes a few weeks to wash it. I deleted her number from phone. Boy, she'll be sorry come next semester.

30 year plan

Ben's dad got us an interview to re-make his company's Web site. AudioDig hasn't yet had a lot of clients, so we were pretty excited and nervous, but I think it actually went well. So with any luck we'll have an actual paying job soon, and then I won't sound like a liar when I tell people that I have my own Web design company.

Ransom Reversal

Jessica, the secretary at work, has this bowl on her desk in which she occasionally puts candy. It's been a few weeks since she's had any, so Roy and I took the bowl, and gave her a note that read (more or less) as follows:

If you ever want to see your bowl again, you will leave candy at this location on your desk. Do not contact the police or the administration.
Signed, NOT Roy & NOT Bryant

While I can't be sure that she didn't tell our boss, I'm pretty sure that the police haven't gotten involved yet. Well she put some candy out, but it was just barely a handful, so I think the bowlnappers just took the candy and didn't give the bowl back.
So today we looked in the cabinet where we had hid the bowl, and it was gone.
As far as I can see, the only solutions are that either (1) someone stole it from the cabinet, in which case we've actually lost it, or (2) Jessica or an accomplish went through our cubicle while we were at lunch yesterday and took the bowl back. Since (1) is pretty unlikely, considering that I work at BYU, we've assumed (2). I'm sure what they want us to do is to go and confess that we lost the bowl so that they can make us feel silly for taking it. We'll show them.

Homeless

I felt homesick yesterday, and it occurred to me that I wasn't homesick for Denver. But I'm in Provo.... So where am I homesick for? What if I don't have a home anymore? What if it's just like Zach Braff said and I'm going to feel like this until I make my own home with my own family?
So I start wondering what I'm going to do with myself when I graduate. It's always seemed so far off that I haven't really worried about it, but it's not so far off anymore. I have more friends here than I do back home now, but do I really want to live in Provo forever? FOR-EV-ER.

Snowmoboard

Thanksgiving report:

1. Ate dinner with Dad's in-laws. It's kind of weird to spend time with those people, not because they're weird, but just because I barely know them and we still act like we're family. The nice thing about your own family is that they love you despite the fact that they know you so well.
2. Bunked up at Snowbird with the Jackman's and the Dubois's. I have multiple surrogate families now. That's kind of neat. And these ones even know how big of a jerk I am, and they still like me.
3. The snow this weekend was so good. Based on the amount of snow that I had to dig my car out from under (literally: I used a shovel), I'd say we got about 3 feet over the weekend. Saturday while we were skiing it was snowing so much that we'd do a run and then by the time we got back to the top the same run had fresh powder again. I think that's what heaven's going to be like.

Halo Girls

So last night we're sitting around making fun of Emily because the German guy likes her, and she tells us about how he came over all excited to show her Gabe's new TV. I mention (because this is all that I think about) that it was the same week that Halo 2 came out. The girls tell me it wasn't, and I assert that it was because that's when and why Gabe got his new TV. Then Elizabeth asks, "Who's Halo 2?"

Biggie Size

I saw "Supersize me" last weekend. At first, as I was watching it, I thought that the guy was a huge weenie: I mean, he couldn't even finish his Double Quarter-pounder. What a wimp. But by the end of the movie I was feeling sick myself. You know that feeling when you've been sitting around all day not doing anything but maybe watching TV and eating Doritos, and you just feel gross and greasy. Well, maybe I'm the only one that knows that feeling, but that's how I felt just watching this guy eat so much McDonald's. I almost haven't been able to eat all week.
But today I went to Wendy's and ordered the biggest chicken sandwich that's ever been deep-fat-fried: the Wild Mountain Spicy Chicken. AND Wendy's still does the Biggie size. So I guess I'm over whatever that movie convinced me of.

Scrubs

I recorded Scrubs on Tuesday because I was busy playing Halo 2. Well, I thought I had recorded it. I started to watch it last night when I got home, and the first five minutes were great ("I don't care about anything you think about anything."). Then it just stoppped. Jordan says he didn't turn it off, so I guess there must be some higher power preventing me from recording Scrubs. Well, I decided to scoff at that power and watch an old episode that I had recorded, and here's the lesson from Heather Graham's character: "And you don't have to be a psychiatrist to see, Perry, that if you used to be truly happy and now you're not, then you should go back to the way it was when you were happy. Isn't that what you would do?"

Last of Hudson River School

Here's the event spotlight for this week:
Hudson River School, famous (inside of Provo) for their sweet emo rock and Mormon hymn covers, will be playing their last show "for quite some time" this Saturday (Nov. 13). Apparently they got some deal and they're going to record a new record, so they're not going to play live for a while.
So, if you're into it, their show is Saturday at 7:00pm at the Lo-Fi Cafe. I'm not really sure where that is.

The best way to listen to ZZ Top is at 120 MPH at 4 o'clock in the morning.

Catch Phrase

Troy and I went downtown (Denver) to Two-Fisted Mario's. I guess I haven't been down there for a while, but I was turned around when we got out of the car, and I started walking in the wrong direction. Troy called me, and then I was looking around for which way to go, and then I was in the middle of the street running around in circles when a minivan came by and I jumped onto the side of it as it drove by and hit it. The driver stopped and backed up, then got out of the car. He was all upset and said, "Hey, don't hit my car," and I was like, "Well you almost hit me!" and then he's like, "Dude, don't freak out just because your hair is pink."

Accidental Dating

My roommate is really good friends with this girl in the ward, and they studied together for the LSAT and everything, and they spend a lot of time together. She really likes him, but he's not interested in her as more than a friend. Well last night she was over and I asked her if she wanted to go to Final Cut with us tonight, thinking that I'd help my roommate out (against his will) by getting her to come along. Only I forgot a key phrase when I was inviting her: "with us." I think I accidentally asked her out. I hate when that happens.

Overdrive

They didn't even show Scrubs tonight because of the dumb elections. Jerks.
Carnaby's show is at this new place in SLC called Club Overdrive. I know that I said it was going to be in Provo this time, but even I'm not perfect. The club is at 215 W. 1300 S., and the show starts at 9:45pm (Carnaby is scheduled at 10:30pm). And I really was telling the truth about it not being a strip club this time. Sorry.
In case you don't know what I'm talking about (and are too lazy to read two paragraphs down), Carnaby is my roommate Jordan's band. I think this is only their second show. If you need some incentive to come, just check out this picture of Jordan and me and you'll remember how awesome we are.

Pink hair is weird, man

I tried to dye my hair red on Saturday so I could be Raggedy Andy for Halloween. I think my costume turned out ok, but the hair kind of turned pink. (Colors are unpredictable on my hair because it's so light.) It turns out that pink hair is very versatile. I went a little gothed-out tonight for the ward party, and the pink worked out well for it. Now I just have to figure out how to attend BYU with it.

Carnaby

Jordan's band is playing another show this week. This time he has a new keyboard and hopefully he'll even get a mic because he has bigger vocal parts now. The show is Wednesday night, but I don't know the time and location (but it is somewhere in Provo this time, and I'm pretty sure its not a strip club). I'll post more details, but everyone should clear up some time on Wednesday night to support Carnaby.

Concert Tickets

A Chilean rock band from the 80's is playing tonight in SLC. They're called los Prisioneros. The only problem is that the show costs $25. Don't you think that's kind of a lot for an old band that you barely know and only because you served a mission in their country? Don't they know that their whole fan base here is RM's and that missionaries just come home and turn into college students which just turn into young married people which just turn into young parents. We only keep getting poorer and poorer as we get older, so how do they expect me to pay $25 for a concert? By my estimates, I won't have money for that until I'm 60 and my kids have moved out, and by then the Prisioneros will be dead.

A Hope for Normal Conditions

We went to lunch early today, and its a good thing that we did, because it started melteding pretty hard as soon as we got back. I think its worked its way into frozening. I hope it at leasts normals in the mountains, but it would be fun if we got some normal here, too.
Brighton opens tomorrow. Are they the first? Well, I'm excited. I'm torn about what to do with my money this season, though. I really liked the Brighton night pass that I had last year; that worked out pretty well. It costs $250. I think the rumor about Sundance puts a mid-week pass at $130 or something like that, which is much more in my price range, but then there's no night skiing and probably no Ben, which for sure would slow down my improvement rate. A real pass (even for students) to Brighton is about $500. I need to sell a Web site or something.

Oktoberfest

Well, Sam tried to tell this story before I got a chance, but I used my executive override so that I can do it myself.
Last night I went to Oktoberfest over at Sam's apartment complex. When we first got there it seemed like a lame party, but they had free hot dogs and root beer, and I certainly never turn down free things. Then things got better.
Have you ever seen those shopping carts that have the little cars on the front? Well they had two of those and they had an "autobaun race" around the pool in them. Yes, around the pool. In the rain. A race. I was in the cart and Fat Tim was pushing, and he almost pushed me into the pool; it was scary. Then when I was pushing him the people we were racing against crashed and I totally ran into them. But we still lost.
Then they had the Miss Deutchland competition, and they had some crazy obstacle course set up for the girls to run through. The highlight was when these two girls started rolling on the ground wrestling to try and get to milk the "cow" first. But they didn't win. It was an injustice.
Finally, they had a 8 foot by 4 foot German chocolate cake made, and in the cake they had hidden a fake plastic ring. The deal was the whoever found the ring in the cake got $1500 store credit at some jewelry store that was sponsoring the party. When the brought it in all of the guys just dove in it. There were like 40 guys, and we were piled on 4-people deep. I was in it up to my elbows, and by the end I was just covered in cake, and then we hosed each other down to try and get the cake off, so I was freezing and dirty, and I didn't even win $1500. But it was fun.

Skiism

Tyler and I went up to Brighton to go skiing today. Now, I know that you're thinking, "It's only October; the ski resorts aren't open yet." Well, that's true: they're not, but we did go up there and there was a lot of snow (driving back it was almost white-out on top of the mountain). The lifts weren't open, but there were some rails set up at the base that we could just hike up to. Here's a picture of Tyler hitting a rail, so that you can be jealous of how great the snow was (I don't put pictures of myself because I suck at it).
At first we were hitting this big, tall, wide rail that had a pretty nice kicker built up to it, which was nice (especially for a beginner like me). We assumed that the rails were set up by Brighton, but when I said this to someone a guy came up and told me that it was his rail, and that he'd set it up. We didn't know, so we then asked if it was cool that we rode it, and he told us no, and went off on this big rant about how people shouldn't come up to the mountain and just expect to be able to ski without bringing anything up to contribute. I think it was lame that he wouldn't let us ride it, but it was his rail, so that's his business. The part that was particularly annoying was that there were about 20 random snowboarders around that didn't even know the guy or that he had set the rail up, and the guy was totally cool with them hitting it. I think he was just discriminating against us because we're skiers.

I've hardly been to any of my classes this week, and I haven't worked that much, and I can't think of anything important that I've gotten done. Maybe I was on a break. I wish I'd known ahead of time that I was going to be on vacation, though, because then I could have taken a trip or something.

Moore stuff

I went to see Michael Moore yesterday. I went with the Democrat club--not because I'm a Democrat (or a Republican) but because I thought it would be fun to out protest the protesters. It turns out there weren't that many protesters anyway, so I just made a sign that said, "John 3:16". That'll teach 'em.
I was pretty disappointed with Moore's speech. I'm rather undecided still on the whole election thing, so I was hoping for him to give me a unique point of view and try to persuade me, but really all he did was make fun of Republicans the whole time, and didn't really address the issues. I guess I should have expected that from him: "Bowling for Columbine" was just a long string of contradicting rhetoric that didn't go anywhere. Maybe that's just his style.
The highlight, by far, was that Rosanne Barr showed up. I think that woman is about the funniest thing ever. In UVSC. Yesterday. Um, well, she's funny, ok? Someone should find a transcript of what she said yesterday and put it on the internet so I can enjoy it over and over.

Don't you think that it's amazing that, despite the ridiculous and dangerous depth of the gutters in Provo, it still manages to overflow them when it rains? I do.

I went over to some friends' house for dinner last night, and as I was getting ready to leave after dinner, they made us circle around the table and take turns telling uplifting stories that had happened to us during the last week. They wouldn't let us leave until we did it. They claimed it was a tradition, but they've never done it when I was over before.

Tyranny and Apathy

Utah's electoral votes are pretty much set already, right? I mean, no matter what I do, it seems, they're going to vote for Bush. What, then, is my motivation for voting? Everyone I talk to seems to either not care who wins or they think that their vote is impotent to make a difference. I hate the idea of not caring who wins, because it seems like that takes away from my right to self-governance, but if my vote doesn't matter, then maybe that right has already been taken away.

In other news, Duran Duran is supposedly on the Tonight Show, tonight (does that sound redundant? I guess it could be the Tonight Show tomorrow--but its not). That's the Leno one.

I stabbed myself

I have this English class (which I hate) at 9am today. That's early for me. It's in the law building, too, so it's about the farthest place on campus from where I live. So I'm late everyday. Well we have this stupid project where we write instruction manuals for products in our fields, and so we were testing each others manuals today (as in reading someone else's manual and trying to perform the tasks the manuals describe). One of the manuals told how to test your blood sugar levels with this little device (that I can't remember the name of), and you have to stab yourself in the finger with this little thing (kind of like what they use at the plasma place). Well no one wanted to test this manual because they'd have to stab themselves, so the teacher said if I tested it she'd forgive all of my tardies. Good deal, huh?

Wayne's a member

I met Wayne yesterday. He's super nice, he remembered by name for like an hour and everything. I told him that I had a shirt with his face on it, and he seemed pretty happy about that: he said it made his day. I was so excited that I went home and put on my BBQC shirt, and I'm wearing the new one today (I guess I'm still excited). Besides, the new one matches my shoes.

Tonight (Monday) through Wednesday you should stay up and watch Carson Daly on NBC, even though he's lame, because Steriogram is going to be the house band. Three days only! But wait, if you act now....

The main page for the project that I do for BYU is finished, and today we were trying to figure out how to get the domain name pointed to it correctly, but we got it and the page is official as of today. I've been working on a module that sorts the images into galleries, and I finished the part that allowed a random image from the gallery to be displayed. I was uploading this just as my boss was sending out the announcement that the web site was done. You, there are several files and changes to the database that happen while I'm uploading a modification, so the web site looks screwed up for probably 2 minutes while I'm uploading things. These, of course, were the exact two minutes in which the dean of the college received the email and looked at the web page. Drama ensued.

Ok, I'm not all of the way fixed yet. This may not actually show up, because I need to switch servers now. We'll see what happens.
We have a soccer game tonight, and I'm kind of worried about it. I know you're thinking, "What difference does it make? You always lose anyway." Well, that's true. I'm worried because we barely had enough people last game and that was two weeks ago (we didn't have a game last week) and we haven't had a successful practice in probably 3 weeks; I'm afraid that everyone will have forgotten that they're on a soccer team and that they have to show up.

My web page was dead for a few days because I didn't pay the bill for my hosting. The same thing happened to my cell phone on Saturday. And it might happen to my apartment and my gas tank, too.
You may notice that the links on the side changed. I had to take off all of the porn links, due to the whole conference thing. Sorry to disappoint you.

I went to my first strip club tonight. In Salt Lake City. Two blocks from the temple. I even snuck a girl in that's not technically old enough to go there. I love my menace-to-society status.
My roommate Jordan had his band's first-ever show tonight; the band's kind of a unique mix of different styles: kind of like Ben Folds Five and Maroon 5 were having lunch and Guns and Roses came over to raid the fridge. I thought it was good (although they need a new sound guy: he mixed it all wrong).
Plus, I got to meet his managers and they seemed glad that I was a web designer so that they'd have someone to take advantage of when they needed a web site for the band.
Ok, the band goes through a lot of names and the one they settled on is Carnaby. What do you think of that? I think it's lame, but you should post your opinion so that there can be actual survey results behind my criticism. The other band name ideas they've had are the Pigeons, Solitude, the Fuse, Wax, Sugarhouse, and Red Window.

Here's a picture of my family hanging out with David Bowie. I just thought that maybe if you're reading this for the first time you might want to start off with something to be jealous of me over.

I discovered one of the great mysteries of life yesterday, and I'm going to share it with you so that you can have the same level of enlightenment that I have: When you're washing dishes, point bowl-shaped items away from you.

I ate the best enchilada ever last night. It wasn't even made by a mexican: pretty amazing, huh? More interesting, though, is that I met Dan finally. I have to admit that he's a pretty good looking guy. Good for him. Well, whatever is going on, I just want everyone that reads this to know: I really like cilantro.

We had our first soccer game yesterday. We did so great: 7-0. Um, well, we were the 0, but you know.... I think I have the lowest endurance of anyone alive: I like run 20 yards and then that's all I can handle and need to get subbed out again. I'm awesome.

In my CS class that I had today I went in and put my bags down and then I went out to go check on a book that I didn't want to actually buy. When I came back, this dude had sat right next to my spot, and the isle was full, so I had to just go in and sit right next to him, and he smelled so bad. Boys should take showers. Just because you're a computer engineer and you think that you don't have to exist in society is no reason to stop bathing.

Man, I just don't know what to think of chemistry. At first I was all like, this is gonna be the hardest class ever (I don't really know why I thought that except that its a 4 credit class and I know nothing about chemistry). Then when we had lab and spent the whole time doing "stoichiometry" I was thinking, this is chemistry? Dumb. Then today we blew up a balloon with hydrogen and oxygen in it and I was like, AWESOME!

The secretary at work told me I have to use headphones when I'm listening to music. My life is so hard.

I think the best part about being a guy (besides peeing standing up) is fixin' stuff. Its especially nice that you don't actually have to know how things work to fix them.
So my dad's new wife (which is working out great, she's making the house not look like a dump anymore and keeping my dad in line) fried the microwave while cleaning it. That should be a lesson in and of itself. Anyway, my dad and I decide that we're gonna fix it, so we just start taking the thing apart. We don't know how microwaves work, or what's wrong with the thing, but we're just goin' for it. So we get the whole thing apart and we actually find the problem: the circuit on the keypad got fried and there's an open. So we (ingeniously) take fibers out of some wire layin' around and patch the open circuit, and it was working, except there were still some connections not complete, so we thought maybe the connecting cable back to the circuit board was messed, so my dad sanded the connectors to try and clean them, but it turns out that they were just made of a thin film of metal over plastic, so the sanding took the metal right off, and basically ruined the cable.
So, we can (kind of) fix things without knowing how they work, but we can kind of break things that way, too.

So I went road trippin' with my favorite allies (except for the #1, who's busy road trippin' with my replacement) this weekend, and so I tried Vegas from the tourist perspective this time: It's a lot more tiring. I'm still worn out.
By far the coolest attraction (or at least the best, even if cool isn't quite the word to describe it) was the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton. Not only is there the most comprehensive timeline ever to show the events of the 25th century, and two great interactive rides (are they really rides, though?) including a replica of the Enterprise bridge that was so realistic that I almost had a heart-attack, and the best Star Trek gift show this side of StarLand (how many not-only's am I allowed?), but the best part was that they actually brought in aliens from the 25th century and we got to talk to them at Quark's bar. I got threatened by a Klingon 'cause he thought my red shirt meant I was a ranking officer, and I bought some Betazoid prostitutes from the Ferrengi that ran the bar, and we talked to some Borgs. Now, I know what you're thinking: You can't talk to Borgs (that is what you were thinking, right?). Well, we talked to 3 of 6, who explained to us that he was among the Borgs that had been severed from the collective and had regained his sense of individuality (There was another Borg who had only recently been separated from the collective and hadn't yet learned to interact with humans, so he just stared at you like you'd expect from a Borg).
I'm sure you're wondering, so I'll tell you how a conversation goes with a Borg: First, we just wanted to know where the bathroom was, and we thought we wouldn't be able to communicate with the Borg to ask him, but he explained that he'd been separated from the collective, and he told us where the bathroom was, and wished us "Success on your urination." Later, he came by our table and inquired as to how my urination went. Everyone started laughing, so 3 of 6 asked if they laughed because it doesn't usually go well, and I said, "Well, sometimes I get a little stage fright," which apparently even Borgs understand: "Acknowledged," the Borg said (sympathetically). He then went on to tell us that he was scanning the area for <insert techno-babble here>, which we didn't understand, but we all acknowledged.
Just when you thought that I was over Star Trek, I get assimilated; I've been watching it on Sci-Fi every afternoon since I've been back home.

Packing is lame. I hate it. I wonder what would happen if I just left all of my stuff here and moved into my new place with just my computer and my sheets. Would that solve my problem or do you think I'd regret it within a few hours?

I made a radio station, check it out: Radio Provo Platinum. Its kinda just going through my music library for now. If you're rad, tell me and I'll make you a DJ. Isn't this neat?

I got a new computer! Well, my work did, but its for me. Its a P4 3.6GHz, 148GB disk, and I got this 19" monitor. I'm so installing Doom 3 on it, now. It even smells good.

So I found out yesterday that I don't have the calling that I thought I had. After winter semester they just had a mass releasing of everyone, so at first I thought that I'd been released from my calling, too, right? But then the new guy in charge was like, no you're still in this calling, so I was helping him with his stuff, but then yesterday the Elder quorum president was like, no you're not in that calling. I wish they'd make up their minds.

Ok, check out how good yesterday really was:
We got our tests back in Art History, and I was completely expecting to fail it because I didn't know all of these dates and crazy italian artist names and such, but I actually got an A. How, you ask? Well, apparently the teacher liked the essay section of my test so much that it just completely overshadowed the crappy short facts section. I made some claims on the essay that kind of looked at things in a different light than how he presented it in class, but I guess he loved it. So class was good, and maybe I won't fail after all. So I get out of class and Ben and Kim are like, You wanna go to Incubus? and I'm all like, I'm poor, and they're all like ITS FREE! and I'm all like, sweet. Ben and Kim practically own 105.7. They won Green Day tickets, and Incubus tickets, and... well, probably some other stuff, too. So Incubus was pretty sweet (but we missed Sparta) and they did the coolest drum solo ever known to man, SO cool, in fact, that it took 3 members of the band mounting up on percussion instruments, 'cause just one drummer couldn't contain all of the cool that they needed.

So I'm driving home from SLC, and there's all of this construction at night, right? So they've been closing the right lane for the past few weeks, and tonight's no different, except that this time I see another sign saying that they're closing the TWO LEFT LANES. Is that even allowed? I don't think they're even supposed to make a sign like that, but they really did and we're doing to ONE lane. Yeah, this is on the freeway. And then, there's another sign saying to merge left because the right lane is closed! Now what am I supposed to do? This is our only lane left! You can't just close this one! Then I got a ticket. See if you can put that together. It doesn't go, I know.

I have 8 hours to write a 7 page paper that I haven't even started.

Have you ever seen Grosse Point Blank? There's another one for your list, Loyd. You know what's gonna suck about hell? That it's exactly what you deserve. Like, when you get treated unfairly, you can complain about it or try to avoid it, but you can't fight a punishment that you deserve. So what do you do? Maybe its just too late to do anything by then, and you just have to take your medicine.

I'm using a Mac right now. I know, but don't freak out. See, we have this machine here at work for testing if our apps work on the Mac, but nobody ever uses it (partly 'cause the programmers don't care about the Mac, and partly because we have a limited number of working jacks to the internet). So, our secretary never actually comes in (I'm glad that's not just me, either) so I stole his internet connection and hooked it up to this Mac so that I could listen to the radio while I'm programming. I mean, uh, so I could test my applications!

Do you know what MTV went and did? They put the new Road Rules in Chile! Now I'm gonna have to watch it. They did this on purpose so I'd start watching their stupid shows. And its gonna work, too.

This is the way my computer science class goes:

1. Teacher asks how the homework is going.
2. Students complain, but receive no input.
3. Lecture notes are displayed and read out loud.
4. A student will comment on some discrepancy and ask what it means.
5. The teacher will say that she doesn't know, and ask the rest of the class if they have any ideas.
6. The students bounce around ideas, which may or may not be correct, by luck alone.
7. The teacher moves on.
8. Repeat steps 3-7 until the end of the lecture slides.
9. Class gets out 30-60 minutes early.
   

I found a new favorite word yesterday: scintillate. Pretty good, huh? I don't know if its actually more favorite than viaduct, but I sure like it a lot.

I'm in this art history class at the Salt Lake Center, and my teachers a little weird (but that's another issue), so there's this one kid that always has these great comments, but the problem is that he won't listen to what the professor says about it. So he has this really good question yesterday about this Goya painting, but instead of letting the teacher answer him, he starts trying to convince the teacher that he's wrong. That's a dangerous move. So the teachers like, fine if you wanna keep discussing this, see me after class, right? But the kid just won't let it go, and then when the teacher contradicts him, the kids all, fine, just drop it; and then the teacher got pissed. He's all, you're the one that keeps dragging it out, so don't tell me what I can and can't drop in my own class, and you need to learn your place, and I'm the teacher, and I've studied this for who knows how long and I think I know what I'm talking about. It was way uncomfortable. Sweet drama.

I got a new arch-nemesis this week. His name's Dan. I've never actually met him, but he keeps me awake at night.

They moved me into a new part of the office that they made for us programmers, so now not only am I going to have to start showing up on time and actually doing work, but I won't get to stare at the gymnast girls that come in! I don't know how long I'm gonna last at this job, now.

I have a paper due on Thursday. 5-7 pages. About a single painting. And I haven't even started. I'm a genius. Or retarded. Either way.

So I got a new mom now. And 4 new sisters. Are you allowed to think that your sisters are hot? You know what the sweetest part about weddings is? The line. I know, its really silly, and its stupid that people do it, but its cool when you're just a guy in the line and not the person that people come to see, because you can tell all kinds of crazy stories about who you are and what you do. I was kind of limited this time because people knew that I was the groom's son (Ben's wedding had crazier stories), but I did change names and ages and professions a few times.

So, my dad gets married tomorrow. Whenever I tell people that he's
getting married, they get all nervous because they don't know if I'm
going to be happy about it or upset, but I'm happy. I went to a dinner
tonight with all of the various family involved, and I saw my uncles
that I haven't seen since I was like 8. Its weird meeting family that
you talk about all of the time but that you don't actually talk to.
I didn't know if I was supposed to hug them or give handshakes or just
throw a guy nod or two around. I opted for the handshake.

Have you had a hard time choosing which one of the Olsen twins you like better? Well, there's no need to loose sleep on it anymore: Now there's this quick and easy quiz you can take to figure it out: www.MaryKateorAshley.com. I matched up with Ashley, in case you wanted to know.

I didn't take a shower today.

What do you guys think of gymnasts? 'cause I think they're hot, but for some reason, a high percentage of the guys I know think that they're too muscular. I realize that there exist the body-building women, and that you can only build so much muscle mass before you begin to look like a man, but I don't think that the gymnasts are an example of that. Personally, I think that the gymnast is really the epitomy of the female athlete: she's petite, lean, and still strong. What else do you want?

I wore a skirt yesterday. Dave wore a pimp hat and tried to sell me on the corner. It didn't work. I think its the hairy legs. Or that my belly is bigger than my boobs. That probably turns dudes off.

Tonight we were going down to the "hot pots", which is some weird name for these hot springs down in Spanish Fork or something. We were supposed to drive exactly 10 miles down this road, but then exactly 7.5 miles down, the road was closed because of the construction of the Diamond Fork Tunnel. So after parading around naked for a few minutes we started to hear noises from the trees and, naturally assuming that it was a nudist cult of ecoterrorists come to bomb the tunnel for obstructing the path to the hot springs, we freaked out and got in the car and started to drive away. On the way back, however, we were further horrified by the street signs. The yellow diamond signs that normally mark the upcoming intersections had been modified by the nudist cult to include extra streets, forming satanic symbols of them in dripping black paint. We all started crying, and 3 of us wet our pants when we passed a deer standing by the side of the road, assuming (naturally) that it was one of the satanic creatures summoned by the cult. We were glad to see that the way back out of the canyon wasn't block as it would have been if this had been something creepy out of the twilight zone (instead of something creepy out of real life).

So, this is currently a Blogger-generated page, but I host it on my own server instead of on BlogSpot, right? Well, I checked the stats for my server and it thinks that this page has been getting an average of 30 hits a day from 12 visitors per day. I think it might be broken, because no way are there that many people that visit my site. I don't even know 12 people. Anyway, just in case, if you're one of those 12 people (or some other poor soul that got lost here), leave a comment so I know who you are. Besides, it looks funny to always have that "0 comments" sitting there. Well, actually, I just want to feel popular by having people comment, but play along, ok?

So I tried to get this web design job today. When I talked to the owner of the store the other day she got really excited and she acted like she had already decided to have me do the site. I went back today to seal the deal, and her attitude completely changed when she realized that she was going to have to pay for it. I tried changing some options and lowering the price, but I think she just decided not to actually pay me for it. She even made some excuses about her husband or some friends making one for her for free, and I'm just like, Come on, your husband doesn't know how to make the site that I'm trying to sell you here. Besides, who makes web sites for free anyway? Well, whoever you are, I wish you would stop, because you're ruining my business.

So I went to SLC tonight and went to the release party of the Beastie Boys' new album, and I won a copy. It comes out tomorrow. That makes me a day cooler. Than something. I don't know.

I like loud music. I know that I'm going deaf, but its worth it, I think.

So I spent all day on this program today, I didn't go to work or to class, and when I went in to pass it off it worked on every file except the one that it was being tested on. Ug. And then, to make it worse, I tried to run it on the near-infinite problem size and it froze my TA's computer. I'm sure she was impressed. I'm awesome, I know.

Well, I went to the new sister's wedding and reception yesterday. It was very nice (and everything's cool with my dad: we kinda have the same temperment, so even though we got mad for no good reason, we forgive eachother easy, too). Weddings are weird, man. It makes me feel kind of hopeful, but freaks the $#!% out of me, too. I think I'll get a dog so I don't ever have to get married.
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So, I went to class today. You'd think that'd be a good thing, right? Well, my almost-step-sister had a dinner tonight because she's getting married tomorrow. The dinner was at 7 and I got out of class at 6. So I call my dad when I get home from class to see how I'm supposed to dress for this thing and he gets all mad that I haven't left yet and makes this big deal about how I can't be late to this dinner, and I'm all like, well do you want me to come or what? and he just yelled about being late, so I hung up on him. So, I didn't go to the dinner.

Easter candy is the best kind. I think they should give it away at Halloween and Christmas, too. Or if they won't do that, maybe next Easter I'll dress up as Jesus and go around Easter morning saying trick or treat to see if people will give me their kids' candy.
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I failed a test tonight. I think I suck at everything. I'm just gonna give up on life and go live under a rock. Or on top of one. I think it'll hurt less. And I'm kind of a wimp.

If you pay close attention you'll see that a large percentage of the posts occur at 11:59pm. That's a weird coincidence, huh? Guess why. I'm not going to tell you, you just have to guess. So, I was pretty sure that they (you know the ones, its always them) told me that the application deadline for the Animation program was April 16. Well, they lied. It was April 2. I went in today to pick up an application and they told me that the deadline was Friday. So, I'm awesome. I guess it doesn't matter, because I wasn't planning on majoring in it, really. I just wanted to know if I could get in or not. Maybe I should still apply next year. Or maybe I should just pretend that I would have gotten into it and let it go.

So I broke the sabbath today and went to the Yellowcard/Something Corporate show. I think its ok since yesterday was half-Sunday, too, what with the whole conference thing. The show was great. I got to sit in the adult section, 'cause I'm a big kid, and I have to tell all of you lil' kids, that the view is a lot better from up there. I know you think its lame 'cause you don't get to mosh, but seriously, would you rather see the band or push each other? Anyway, I'm glad its only for the big kids 'cause otherwise there wouldn't be room for me and I wouldn't feel like I had an unfair advantage anymore. The opener was this killer band from New Zealand called Steriogram. I think they might be my new favorite. I get new favorites a lot. I also decided that all I really need in life is a punk rock princess.

I totally missed today. Somehow I forgot what day it was, so I missed the drawing class and I missed BBQ Club. Some people might not think that's a big deal, but I blew off classes today and I don't really care, but I'm kind of upset about missing BBQ Club. I also learned that people look at you weird if you wear a stripper shirt.

So, I was told today that my blog is sparatic. Which it is, but I just thought maybe it was cool since my life really isn't that exciting and no one really reads this anyway. But, I guess I'll try and make an effort. Maybe if I'm good with my blog then I won't feel guilty for not keeping a journal very well, either. So right now I'm about to fail both of my CS classes. I think I'm doing ok in the others, though, so that's good. If I fail CS240 (which I probably will because I've missed one of the two big projects and its corresponding test) then I'll be taking it for the third time in the fall. And I'm not complaining, it just hurts after a bit.
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Spring break is over. I think Vegas is my new favorite city. I learned how to play blackjack and roulette, spent a <insert favorite swear word>load of money, got kicked out of my hotel, and got the best shoe polish known to man. I'm also proud to say that I spent all weekend there without doing anything to get kicked out of the Church. Now I'm going to stay up all night and try to catch up on the work that I've blown off for the last two weeks.

Colorado was a success. I played Halo, got a haircut, and ate french toast. I don't know what else you could ask for. Today was a good day academically, too. I discovered the Physics help lab, so I actually was able to figure out my homework today, and I raised my GPA via the Spanish credit test. I was kind of worried about it, but I finished it in 15 minutes and only missed one problem, so I guess I didn't really need to be worried. Either that or I had some divine assistance. AND, I'm still on spring break, so I'm not shaving.
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Well, skiing didn't pan out, and I'm feeling really stressed today, but I'm still determined to have spring break. I don't really know if I'm gonna be more relaxed or more stressed because of it, though. Today I missed a physics assignment because I have passed too much time not paying attention and now I don't know how to do any of the problems, and I'm way behind in both of my computer science classes. I might get kicked out of BYU this semester. That would be a shame. Then I wouldn't be able to fulfill every mormon boy's dream of just staying enrolled in BYU until he gets married, regardless of how long it takes him or how many degrees he gets. That's really why everyone here gets masters degrees. Well, I guess I'll have to be happy with my 1/2 bachelors. I wonder if they'll translate that into an associates degree if I get kicked out. Oh, well, its spring break, I guess I'll worry about it in a few weeks.

I finished the Wonder Arch website yesterday. My clients seemed pleased with it but they were reluctant to say that they were, but either way, I got paid and I'm happy with how it turned out. I'm making my own spring break now, and since its not official I'm going to make it last two weeks. I'm going to go skiing tonight and tomorrow and I'm going to Denver this weekend and to Vegas the next. So there. Take that, anti-spring-break-ites.

I keep stealing ideas from Loyd's blog to try and make mine cool, so the newest thing is the little add-your-comment-about-how-awesome-or-lame-I-am link at the bottom of each entry. So, add a comment. I don't know who I'm telling to add comments because no one even knows this site exists, but if some hapless web-surfer ends up here, then this Blog's for you.
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I have a cold. Or something. I don't feel good. I slept until noon today, so I didn't get anything done that I was supposed to. Oh, well. At least tomorrow is stake conference so I don't have church until 2pm. That means I can sleep almost all day.

So I went out with this girl on Saturday last week and she lives in Glenwood, so I thought it would be fun if we painted on her walls. Well, we did, and today I saw her and I'm not sure I've ever had the cold shoulder like that before. She said that she got in trouble with management and then she didn't even look at me more after that. I think she hates me. Here's what we did to her wall, so you can see if it was worth it or not.

• Rachel's wall
• Her neighbor's wall
• Ingrid's wall

Ok, I just got this thing to see how Blogger works and if I could steal some of its ideas for my own website(s), but I kinda like it, so maybe I'll hang onto it.