24

Over Christmas break I got my dad hooked on 24. Now that's all we talk about. He thought it would be fun to write a script of what the show would be like if it were about a day in our lives. Here's a basic outline of what a script for a typical one of my days would be:

12:00 pm

I wake up. Wander around the apartment moaning and coughing for about 15 minutes. I drink some water. Then I get on Halo to see if Troy is online. He's not. I play anyway.

1:00 pm

I'm still playing Halo. Halfway into the episode I get disgusted with myself and decide to "do something." Instead of showering I get on my computer. I check my email. There's an email from one of my coworkers about some problem at work that they need me to come in and fix, and some forwarded cartoon from my sister. I delete both emails and start reading blogs instead.

2:00 pm

I'm still reading blogs. I read all of my friends ones, some of them more than once, and then I make snotty comments on a few of them. I look at the clock and realize that I've missed both of my classes for the day. I decide to do some homework to make myself feel better, so I browse to my class web site and start reading the assignment that was due last week. It still looks time consuming, so I figure that I'll give myself a few minutes to look at the X-Files episode guides before I get started. (It would have been Facebook last week, but I gave that up for Lent.)

3:00 pm

I'm still looking at X-Files. I might have gone to C-net to look at some new gadget that I'll never buy, and then typed in Facebook's address, and then remembered that I can't go there and went back to X-Files.

4:00 pm

I've looked at every web page I could think of, including refreshing Provo Platinum about 8 times, and still there's no new blogs. I then realize that I haven't eaten yet today, so I get up to put shoes on and go find some food. I get ready to leave the apartment for the first time of the day, but then I remember that my car has been broken for weeks and I haven't fixed it because I'm too lazy to go downstairs and make sure that I really know what's wrong with it. I sit back on the couch and get back on the web. I start thinking about starting that homework again.

5:00 pm

The homework looks hard, so I try to think of something else to do, when I remember again that I haven't eaten. Then I go into the kitchen and look at every piece of food I have in the fridge and freezer and pantry, which fortunately are full because my grandma does my grocery shopping, so I make a microwave lasagne. While it's cooking I get on Halo (because I'd hate to waste any time just sitting around waiting for the microwave).

6:00 pm

After playing Halo for about 45 minutes I remember that I have food in the microwave. It's not warm anymore, so I cook it again. Russ gets home and makes fun of me for not having moved from the couch all day, but he keeps me busy long enough to be aware of the bell when the microwave finishes. I eat my lasagne, and then go back to the couch to work on my homework. The food is setting in, though, so I fall asleep before I can even read the web site and remind myself what it is that I've been putting off all day.

7:00 pm

I wake up at the end of the episode when Roundy comes in and asks if I've left the apartment yet today.

8:00 pm

There's now activity in the apartment, so I get up to take a shower. Right before I shower Gabe calls to see what we're doing, I tell him that the guys are just playing darts and to come up and I take a shower. When I get out of the shower, no one is around except for Gabe, who is asleep on our couch. I put pants on.

9:00 pm

Gabe wakes for long enough to complain about how weird his sleep schedule is and then wanders off. I find Aaron and Russ and we go around to some apartments so that Roundy can practice being smarmy (a quality which I think he shares with my grandpa).

10:00 pm

We come back to our apartment and I get on the Internet and tease April until Marissa gets on and virtually yells at me about it. I look up and realize that Russ and Aaron are gone. I call them again and Aaron says that they told me where they were going but I wouldn't stop paying attention to the computer long enough to listen to him so they left me. April goes to bed. I look at the blogs again and no one has written anything, so I go downstairs to Aaron's apartment. We watch Russ and Ryan play Dr. Mario and all anyone talks about is how weird Gulie is.

11:00 pm

They're still playing Dr. Mario. Ryan stops playing and gets on the Internet to look at some stupid videos, and Russ practices beating Rudy. (That's an evil clown on the game.)

12:00 am

My brain is turned off, but I think Russ is still playing Dr. Mario. Roundy goes to bed.

1:00 am

Our self-imposed curfew takes effect, and Russ and I go back up to our apartment. I sit on the couch and get back on the Internet. I don't have any email and there's no new blogs. I'm not tired yet, so I figure that I'll be really productive and write that program for my homework that I've been putting off all day. I get on the web site yet again, but before I do anything I decide to write this blog.

2:00 am

I'm awake and on the Internet. I have my program open, but I haven't made any progress on it. Carlos gets home so Russ decides that he can go to sleep now.

3:00 am

I'm still on the Internet. If anyone knows what I do during these hours, can you please tell me? As far as I know I'm in a coma.

4:00 am

Russ comes out of his room frustrated that he fell asleep reading and then woke himself up when the book fell out of his hands and onto his face. Now he's not tired and can't go back to sleep. We start talking about politics and how we ought to be the world dictators.

5:00 am

We're still talking about being dictators, but Russ decides to put a movie in and try to go back to sleep. He picks some movie from 1942 that no one has ever heard of, but it seems interesting to me, so I end up watching it and not paying attention to my homework.

6:00 am

Somewhere during this episode I end up falling asleep. Carlos comes out and has to leave to take Eva to work or something, so I wake up. The movie is still going and Russ is still awake. I go in to my bed and sleep. (That's a new part of my life in the last few months, too.)

7:00 am

I'm asleep. I have no idea what happens in the world.

8:00 am

Still asleep.

9:00 am

Still asleep. My first class starts without me on campus somewhere. (I don't know where exactly, since I haven't been to the class yet this semester.)

10:00 am

I wake up part-way through the episode and I come out to the living room. Russ is awake and has cleaned the whole apartment. I feel guilty, but not so much as to make me do anything to help him. Instead I feel less guilty just for being present while he's cleaning so I lay on the couch and start to read my physics homework. I fall back asleep.

11:00 am

I'm still asleep. Again.

And I think that's the end of the season. A day in the life of me. I don't know why they don't make me the main character in that show. Jack Bower is boring by comparison.