I can hear you getting fatter

I looked at myself in the mirror today after I had a Twix ice cream bar for the dessert of my second Beto's meal of the day. I think I could see myself getting fatter. I haven't been in front of a mirror for a few hours, but at the rate I was going, I should look about like this by now.

Ransom Reversal

Jessica, the secretary at work, has this bowl on her desk in which she occasionally puts candy. It's been a few weeks since she's had any, so Roy and I took the bowl, and gave her a note that read (more or less) as follows:

If you ever want to see your bowl again, you will leave candy at this location on your desk. Do not contact the police or the administration.
Signed, NOT Roy & NOT Bryant

While I can't be sure that she didn't tell our boss, I'm pretty sure that the police haven't gotten involved yet. Well she put some candy out, but it was just barely a handful, so I think the bowlnappers just took the candy and didn't give the bowl back.
So today we looked in the cabinet where we had hid the bowl, and it was gone.
As far as I can see, the only solutions are that either (1) someone stole it from the cabinet, in which case we've actually lost it, or (2) Jessica or an accomplish went through our cubicle while we were at lunch yesterday and took the bowl back. Since (1) is pretty unlikely, considering that I work at BYU, we've assumed (2). I'm sure what they want us to do is to go and confess that we lost the bowl so that they can make us feel silly for taking it. We'll show them.

Easter candy is the best kind. I think they should give it away at Halloween and Christmas, too. Or if they won't do that, maybe next Easter I'll dress up as Jesus and go around Easter morning saying trick or treat to see if people will give me their kids' candy.
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