Bo Bice vs. Epitaph

I unsubscribed from the Epitaph newsletter tonight because they said that they hated Bo.

The best of times, the worst of times

I realized yesterday that my best moments are the same as my worst moments. Here's a ranked list of the best and worst things that happened to me yesterday:

1. I saw the girl that I like yesterday. It's the best thing because I like seeing her, and the worst thing because I feel like a tool because nothing's ever going to happen between us.
2. I spent $10 at Taco Bell. It's the best because it was so good, but the worst because I'm ashamed of myself for spending so much money on lunch.
3. I played the soccer accuracy drill in the ward activity. It's the best because it's the first time I've gotten to play soccer since I hurt my leg (details coming soon) and it's the worst because I did really bad and got out in the first round.
4. All we did at work yesterday was watch Star Wars fan films. It's the best because we goofed around all day, and the worst because now I'm going to have to work harder to get my project done in time.

That's all I can think of. It's a neat phenomenon, though, huh?

The Pit vs. Alice

The Pit came back last night and Alice was its first casualty.
I was out on the couch using Alice in tablet-mode, and when I got tired I put her under the couch (so as not to be stepped on or otherwise disturbed in the early morning hours) and I fell asleep.
At some point during the night, the Pit broke free from its constraints, and one of the springs from the couch came loose. The spring swung around and oscillated as I tossed and turned in the Pit above it.
When I awoke, and looked at Alice to see what time it was, I saw that her face had been scratched severly and repeatedly by the loose spring.

"[Alice] was lost for the price of a touch [screen] and a gash across her face."

Can't live with 'em

Priscilla almost just died.
I had a running process that I couldn't get into so I had to restart her, but then when I went to turned her on again she started beeping like mad, so I hurried and turned her off and waited a few minutes (because her kind is crazy and unpredictable so maybe it was just a one time thing), but then when I tried again with her she started beeping and then her fan went into overdrive and I thought she was going to explode.
But she didn't. She just had a bad memory.

Abridged Atlas Shrugged

For a long time I've been trying to get my friends to read a book called Atlas Shrugged so that it could change their lives and they could be as big of assholes as me (at least for a little while). Well, during most of said long time I hadn't even finished reading the book myself, seeing as it's the biggest, longest, most-smallest-print book ever made. So, for the same reason, most of my friends won't read it -- except the truely die hard, like Jason and Ronnie.
Jason, however, will never read the last chapter because our false god told him not to, so he found a solution to all of our problems: The Abridged Atlas Shrugged!