Proposal for Internet Laws

I read today about a man in Japan that was arrested (in real life) because he cheated in a video game.
Apparently we're setting some kind of trend where virtual crimes can be punished in the real world. As long as that's where we're heading, I've composed a list of laws that need to be understood about any virtual activity.

1. If there are items on the ground in a video game, to pick them up is stealing.
   
2. Killing someone in a video game is murder.
3. Killing someone on your team is treason.
4. Picking to play on the side of the Germans or Russians in a video game is also treason.
5. Development of a game where you can play as the Germans or Russians is considered an act of war against the US.
   
6. The games "Grand Theft Auto" and "Thief" are completely illegal. The publishers and vendors will be prosecuted for entrapment.
   
7. A computer virus is considered a biological weapon, and the creation of a virus will be prosecuted at an international level as the development of weapons of mass destruction.
8. If your computer gets a virus you will be quarantined from the Internet (to prevent you from spreading it by your ignorance).
   
9. Online dating services that charge for membership will be guilty of running a prostitution racket.
   
10. You must have a license to operate an email account. If you cannot forward responsibly, then your email privileges will be forcibly revoked.
    
11. Web pages cannot make noises or play music unless the user requests it by pressing a button. Web pages that automatically play music upon being visited will be prosecuted for disturbing the peace, and the Web pages will be impounded.