Be vs. Earl

Late last night Gabe, Tyler and I went to Beto's. I thought I'd step it up.
I first ordered the cheese quesadilla. The guy taking my order looked confused at me, and said "Are you sure? It's just cheese?" If you have ordered the quesadilla before, then you'll understand why he'd try to talk me out of it. The quesadilla is just a giant wad of cheese in a tortilla. It's more grease than food. Which is, of course, why I wanted it.
Then I ordered two burritos: I tried the Ranchero, and I ordered my favorite, the Adobada. The guy asked me if we wanted to pay together or separate, and I told him together so that I wouldn't have to explain that all three meals were for me.
Tyler ordered the chimichanga, which gave Gabe an idea: What if we had them deep fat fry one of the regular burritos? The worker obliged as though it were a natural suggestion (which maybe it is in mexican countries), and so I had a giant Ranchero chimichanga.
I ate the quesadilla in 1 minute and 27 seconds. About 3/4 of the way through the Ranchero chimichanga I got full. I, of course, ate it anyway. The Adobada would become my nemesis, and we named him Earl.
The very first bite of Earl almost killed me. I was already full, and I couldn't eat any more. I ate another bite anyway. I thought I was going to hurl. I ate another bite. The bite size didn't get smaller, but the time it took me to get it down got longer with each successive bite. Sometimes my stomach would tell me to stop, and it would threaten to send back up what I'd already put down. I'd have to stop in the middle of the current bite and breath really slow and calm, and then I'd keep chewing once I'd lulled my stomach into a false sense of security. I tried to stop eating over and over, but Tyler kept encouraging me to finish what I'd started, and I listened. By the end I don't think I was even swallowing anymore. I'd just chew the bites until they were liquefied enough to slide down my throat without any effort. I had probably an inch and a half of burrito left at the bottom when my stomach refused to take any more and I had to spit the last bite out to keep myself from vomiting.
The Adobada had once been my favorite. Beto's was my favorite place to go eat. Now I was in horrible pain, both from my stomach being stretched beyond its capacity, and my throat was burning from the spices sitting in my mouth and trickling down.
It still hurts today, but I guess everything paid off. Today I weigh 202.2 lbs., even on the most conservative of the scales that I've weighed myself on. And it's a good thing I made my goal, because I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat again.