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Monday, January 09, 2006

Better than Bionic

I always wanted to be like the $6 million man. Maybe for the super-human speed and strength, but maybe just for the noise that it makes when he jumps. When I hurt my knee, I'd hoped that I'd be able to have it replaced with a bionic knee: better, stronger, faster. I realize that such things probably don't exist in real life, but today I found a hope for something better: a Chuck Norris knee.
Today at my physical therapy they put me on the Total Gym, which every late-night TV watcher knows is the source of Chuck Norris's many powers. While to the average person, the Total Gym only offers a complete workout, but I figure that since my knee is in a newly reconstructed state -- like an embryo building itself up -- that my knee will be able to absorb more of the Chuck Norris's power from that Total Gym than a regular person would be able to. My Chuck Norris knee is inevitable.

5 comments:

bec said...

It's like you'll be part Bryant, part Chuck Norris. We'll just call you Bruck for short.
I hope you get to see your knee joint soon.

Anonymous said...

I hope I see it again soon, too.

vox said...

this knee surgery may be the best thing that ever happened to you

vox said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
the narrator said...

If you could attain just the smallest portion of Chuck Norris's powers (peace be upon him), I would have total respect and awe of your being. I could only beg that you with your portion of ChNo's power and wrath would find mercy on my weak and imperfect existence.